I Deny Heaven
by MrsDuckyFuzzles
Summary: Beadu's self sacrifice resulted in a one way ticket to heaven, only she decided to jump off of the train.Now in a world far from her time, guarded by the 3, she stumbles to find family and reality once again. Then Edward finds the wandering girl in white.
1. Preface: I Vow

**Well Hello there! Yes I have written ANOTHER story. I need to keep my mind busy with things going on in my life atm PLUS ITS HALF TERM!! Yes so you can expect a few chapter updates with all three of my storys. I'm not quitting ANY of them because I dont quit on things. This one here is obviously set AGESSS ago though there isn't a specific date mentioned, but you will get the jist with the language and titles and names. I DID research each name and write down the meanings, but I cant find where I wrote it so thats lost time XP ENJOY!!  
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**Preface: I Vow**

**Beadu P.O.V**

"Raelene!" I heard my mother shout as she raced in from the cornfields.

"What is it mother?" I ask her, hoping I could assist my mother if she needed any help. There were most likely dead blackbirds killed by those mischievous children Maitland and Yardley from the village scattered across the field. She finds such actions extremely repulsive and childlike, which is very fitting to them. However her calling for Raelene makes me wonder, as she fears the dead birds more than I. Mother then sew me and rushed in my direction.

"Beadu, where is your sister Raelene?" This confuses me more. Raelene was to be married this morning, and I would imagine that she is consumating that marriage at this very moment, if not celebrating it with a feast.

"Mother, she would be with Sir. Balder would she not?" She shakes her head hurriedly, somewhat irritated that this is all the knowledge I could give her. I know how much of a loving person my mother is and she is never intentionally rude. That is why my face falls as she says "Oh irritable child! Why would I ask this of you if she _were _with Sir. Balder?!"

She rushes away from me and into the cottage, having disposed everything she had carried out to the field. I was beginning to worry now, as something was forming creases of worry on my mothers face, and such carvings do not belong there. I felt determined to banish them.

"Mother what has happened? Why would she not be with Sir. Balder?" My mother turns to me and speaks in hushed tones, trying to get a hold on her voice, as we enter the house.

"Sweet Beadu. My Bella. I am sorry for my rudeness but I am currently in a great state of fear." She says, holding my face and kissing my cheeks. My nickname Bella was earned by me cherishing a small silver Bell my mother was once given by an Italian admirer when I was a child. I had never put the object down, and still remember the place that I buried it along with a drawing of my family and two stones the exact shade of my mothers eyes for my future grandchildren to discover underneath the great oak in the forest. I was a child at the time, and had stolen my fathers carving knife to mark the spot where my descendants should dig with an 'X' and a 'B', 'E' and half of an 'L' before my mother caught me with the knife and took it from me, knowing my clumsiness. The oak was my favourite tree, and I hoped to one day be buried there once the grounds had been made holy. There is plenty of time for that to happen, but what is causing this fear to take such a hold on my mother?

"There is an army bearing Sir. Balders crest only half a mile from the edges of our fields with torches. That is why I must gather everyone I love and escape before their torches spread and destroy all that I hold dear to me." She explains pleadingly, causing my face to crease in worry and fear for my family.

Radella walks down the stairs then, carrying a basket of washing she said she was going to take down to the river earlier. "Good evening mother! It is a brilliantly sunny day outside -is the heat too much?" My sister is a beautiful and caring girl. She is the second eldest daughter, the first being Raelene, and she is the council of our family. She is very sympathetic and Angelic. Her hair is the colour of thriving corn in the sun which sways in the breeze with such a resemblance. Her eyes are blue and are undeniably trustworthy, like that of my mothers and other siblings eyes. Only my father and I have brown eyes. I am the black sheep of my family, having resembled my father most, giving me unmanageable hair the colour of Bark, pale skin and a small frame, which is terrible for labor work. My sisters tease me for my small, weak body, but my father defends me as he is sympathetic. It is not easy being the youngest female and most useless of the family. If I were to leave home to work, I would not be able to earn enough money for bread, let alone housing.

"The only thing bright about this day is the sun. Drop that and run with your sister quickly to get your brothers and father from the market." Unlike me, Radella knows when is and isn't the right time for petty questions, so she does exactly as mother orders. We run to the market and within a short time we find my brothers fighting with wooden swords whilst father buys mutton from the butcher.

"Take that!" I hear Badrick shout, then see him plunge the fake sword in-between Rankins side and arm. He flails around the market, making the supposed noises of a dying man. If only he knew how close we all were to finding out.

"Have you seen my father? His name is Bailey. Bailey Swan. Do you know-"My sister frantically asks the first man she reaches. She is cut off with the traveller grunting and nudging past her. She can't see father yet.

"Over here! I've found them!" The boys look in our direction with confused expressions.

"Beadu, what is it? Is mother unwell?" Little Rankin trills in his adorable high voice which has yet to darken with age. He is always trying to protect everybody, it is in his nature. Ever since he was a child he would attempt to help the injured birds from the field. Those irritating village children learned the art of Raven murder from their fathers, and so the tradition has never really ebbed in my lifetime. My lifetime is 17 years. _Is that all I can hope to see from this world? _If that is so, then I would like to leave this world with the knowledge of my family's well-being.

"No boys, you need to run to the house immediately." They were about to start with the questioning when I said "Mother orders it." That got their attention, and they started running towards the house, dropping their wooden swords. I had a small feeling that we would need swords. _If only the boys were of an age to carry the real thing!_

"Father, Mother needs us. She says she saw Balders men with torches heading this way." This information does not create enough shock on his face, so I suspect he knows a reason as to why all of this is happening.

"Is Balder with them?" This seems to be extremely important information as he grabs my shoulders and looks me directly in the eye.

"I do not know, Mother did not say." I see the same look of irritation on his face like that I saw on my Mothers face earlier. My father is in some way an unofficial sheriff of our village, as whenever a brawl starts he is always the one to finish it, and he always settles all issues involving money and gambling before deaths can commence.

We had reached the house by the time Mother exits with baskets of clothing and food to load onto the cart we normally use for taking supplies to the town market. She drops the basket she is currently holding to embrace her husband. "She has betrayed us Bailey!" Mother wails into my fathers chest, sobbing uncontrollably now. _Who has betrayed us? _"Our sweet, loving daughter has doomed us all! Balder comes for us now to punish us for her sins!"

"I know Randi, I know. She never should have agreed to that marriage if she could not go through with it." Father comforts her.

Now I understand completely. Raelene- sweet, beautiful Raelene who can do no wrong- has finally made a terrible decision. I never did support her engagement to that Royal blooded oaf who abuses his power to get his own way, simply because he is a wicked man who has killed many innocent men for his own enjoyment. He is a very jealous man and could stand no other man than my brothers even looking at his future bride. Now it appears she has abandoned him at the alter. _Punish us for her sins... _Yes, we may suffer for her decision, but I would rather burn in this village than watch my sister waste her beauty on a pure sinner who seeks no redemption. He would make her a different woman, a woman of sin herself, and that is a fate worse than death.

"Mother! Father!!" The boys shout from the back of the house. Just then I hear the clinking of hooves and a black stallion appears with a brown horse on either side.

"It seems that your hussy of a daughter has decided to flee with her farm-boy lover Jackson!" Booms Sir. Balder in an exceptionally angry voice.

"Sir. Balder, what makes you think my daughter has abandoned you? She has most likely torn her dress and has decided to repa-" She still trys for excuses, despite her inability to lie.

"Stop it with all of these excuses! I have searched far and wide for her for five hours now, and she has not returned to me!"

"Sir-" My mother attempts to beg, but is cut off again.

"One more word, and you shall watch your precious sons die first!!" Mother is silent, but cannot muffle her cries of agony at the realisation that her words cannot save her family, but doom them all the more faster.

He turns to the soldier on his right and cold-heartedly orders "Round them up, put them in their house, and set it on fire."

"NO!" screams my mother, closely followed by "Please, have mercy on us!" from my sister. He just nods to the man on his left to start with the gathering.

My brothers scream profanities at the men who are now pressing blades to their throats as they force the rest of my family into the house. I looked around but saw no men paying attention to me. _Why have they not forced me inside?! Do they know I am related to them?! I cannot watch this! I cannot live whilst my family burns! _Before thinking I brought their attention off of my family and onto me.

"Balder! You are the most idiotic man I have ever met! You attempt to round up a family and miss a member completely! You are a complete ogre!"

Balder just smiles at me, alerting me that he did not leave me out of the burning party on purpose. "Oh sweet Beadu, I need somebody to bury them don't I?"

With that I lunge at him, attempting to throw him off his horse and succeeding whilst my family screamed after me. I am grabbed from behind and hit around the head. I feel the blood trickling down my face when I am brought to my knees and hit once more, this time by Balder himself. He delivers several kicks to my stomach and even more hits to my face, then with deciding my beating is over, he grabs my hair to direct my face towards the house which is now almost completely consumed in flames. I know my family are still alive as I can hear each of them screaming in fear and agony. The blade pressing at my throat forces me to keep watching as I try to tare my gaze away, when I make the decision to no longer have to watch this.

This is the end of my life. Fine, I accept that. What I_ do not _and _never shall _accept is that my family will die before me. I grip the hand of the soldier holding the knife to my throat and twist it out of his grip, quickly rising and grabbing Balder from behind, pressing the blade to his throat, while my family plea's for release get louder and more desperate. "Open the door!" I scream to the uniformed men who are completely consumed with fascination and enjoyment by the fire.

The soldiers look at one another, deciding whether they should do as I tell them or not, but finally looking at their leader for an answer. "I said open it! Let my family out!" I had never raised my voice to a man, let alone a whole armada of them, but these were not gentlemen.

"You know I will kill you and put them back in as soon as you let me go. You cannot kill me. You are too Christian for that, however I am not." He is absolutely right. He is a determined man, and will not stop until he gets at least one persons blood on his hands. One_ persons blood..._

"I am going to let you go Balder, but it is with another condition."

"Which is?" He says in a charming voice, like he is the one in control of the situation.

"You will open the doors and let my family out. Then you can kill me any way you want." This takes him by surprise. He wasn't expecting his captor to offer her life.

"Are you serious? If I let your family go, I get to kill you instead?"

"I am completely serious. I give you my word, and I never break my word." I vowed. "Is it a deal?"

He seems to think about it, and then answers me by nodding. "You have my word also. Let them go!" He shouts to his men. They look utterly astounded by this reasoning. "I said open the doors, before I put all of you in there!" With that they open the barricaded door and my family come tumbling out, coughing and gasping for air. Rankins arm is on fire, and my mother has lost some of her hair. After putting out the fire on his arm, my family turn their eyes to me.

"I love you all so very much." I declare, before giving a last request. "Close your eyes." It came out like a whisper, my fear leakign through my facade of courage.

"What?!" Shouts my father in confusion and fear.

"Father just close your eyes, please!" A single tear falls down my face, but I refuse to sob. By doing this my family get to live. "They have given me their word that you shall not be punished for my sisters mistakes. This is good news!" I try to make the situation positive, but their faces showed their horror and pain as they realised what was going to happen to me. My mother is already heaving in pain completely unrelated to her burns. Sobs are breaking out even louder than when they were in the burning house.

"If you love your daughter I would take this time to prey for her and grant her this last request." A soldier says quietly to my family. They look at me with pained eyes and that alone almost makes me beg to god for mercy. I can't stand seeing this look on their faces... in their _eyes. I cannot let them see the light leave my eyes._

I look at each of them and they stare back, passing on their goodbyes and thanks to me through the gateways to their soul. "Close your eyes." I whisper for the last time, then my mothers meet mine for one last time and says "Do as she says children" before mouthing '_I love you Bella'_ and then closing them. Four sets of blue eyes and one set of Brown close and will be now missing to me forever.

"I vow" whispers Balder into my ear. _Why is it his voice I have to hear last? _I close my eyes myself for the last time, take my final breath and whisper "I vow" in return.

I feel a sharp pain through my back and piercing through the skin on my stomach, then everything goes black.

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**Allow me to clear up confusion. Bella is Beadu, Beadu is Bella. NOW REVIEW PLEASE!!**

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	2. There Is A Door

**As a few have said, this story starts off a little confusing. I did that on purpose! lol. I wan't you to know what its like for Beadu/Bella and to understand where she's coming from. I gave you that prefacey thing because that gives you what she died for and this here is the result of her sacrifice. Enjoy XD  
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**There Is A Door**

**Beadu P.O.V  
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When you die there is a door. This is _the_ door. It is not a wooden door, a glass door or like any other normal door -but it is a door to _somewhere_. Most people would believe that this is the door to heaven and that their sins have been forgiven, but I do not see the door the way others see it.

I can hear music on the other side, unlike any music an instrument can create -with even the strongest harp plucker or artist to attempt it. This is the music of security. It is to lull you towards the door, to make you step through it in order to investigate. I do not feel compelled to investigate.

I hear a voice calling to me. _You do not need to be afraid now. Fear is a thing of the past. _I look to my right and see a man in white standing beside me, holding his own hands in-front of him. He is looking at the door with me. Others begin to appear, but they do not have white clothing on- they have different clothing. Why can I not identify what is is that these people are wearing? It does not take me long to figure out that these are the dead. Angelic men and women in the white attire appear next to each of these people, and they help them on their way. They hold the shoulders of the elderly, to give them moral support to take the final steps, and they take the hands of the disabled, to bring them out of their wheelchairs and towards something. None of the dead seem to notice the others, but only their assistant, their leader to heaven. It takes me even less time to figure out that these are Angels.

Slowly the looks on each of their faces become relaxed and... at peace... then they fade away. _What is happening to them? _I think to the man next to me, figuring out that if we really _are_ walking on clouds toward the gate of heaven, that he should be able to hear my thoughts. After all, angels are made to comfort and be Godly.

_That is right. We are here to make the journey easier. That includes ridding ourselves of voices, which are completely useless where you are now going to go. _I knew the Angel was trying to be reassuring and that another person would find him exactly that, but I feel his words were meant as a threat.

He attempts to rid me of my doubt in his thoughts. _Doubt does not exist where we are going either. There is nothing but happiness, it is only what is deserved for what you did. _

Now I am confused. _Let me guess, confusion is nonexistent there also? _My Angel smiles at that. He is a very attractive Angel -back on Earth he would find many ladies swooning for him. _No, _he replys _there will be no confusion either. There will be no pain, hunger, feeling of loss or questioning. _

_Should you not be prepared for questions? Such as 'what is it that we are all here for'? _He smiles again. Obviously my Angel finds me humorous. _So what did I do then, to get here? _His smile softens even more, if such a thing is possible, and he thinks to me _You performed the act of self sacrifice, and that is all you need know. Memories are not needed beyond that door. _He gestures to the door. _You do not have to pass until you feel ready. As I have said my job is to assure, but not to pressure. I cannot force you to walk through this door anymore than these people can see you. _He then gestures to the people around him and hears my question inside my head and answers _I thought that it would help you understand more by seeing exactly what is happening -how these people do not doubt what is beyond this door. _I turn my eyes from the surrounding people to look my Angel in the eyes. He notices my intention. _I know you do not doubt the existence of a God, but you do doubt whether this is the right door for you. I can feel that you are not sure of why you are here, but as I said, all you need do is walk through the door, and feel doubt no more._

I pondered his offer to then realise that I am pondering. I am pondering whether I will let myself go to heaven or not. It is not like I would rather go in the _other_ direction to see if it is better, because I know that Hell would not consist of fluffy rabbits and daisies, however I still find myself making an internal decision. My angel looks at me, the smile slowly but gently fading from his face. It is obvious he has never known anybody sway so close to deciding to walk away from the door, but I look back despite this. This causes him to speak aloud.

"If you decide this is not the path for you, there is no turning back. Despite the great things you did as a human, it is not within my power to give you the key to this door once again." I turn to look into his eyes, which are now pleading. "He sent me here you know. He wanted me to greet you personally. It is not everyday God sends a specific Angel to a new arrival."

His voice is like satin and it fits his beautiful face perfectly. I decide to speak aloud as-well, more in curiosity as to what _my _voice sounds like. "Why would he ask that of you?"

He is surprised to hear the sound of my voice almost as much as me. My voice is quite feminine, with an American accent. That must mean that I am American! His face crumples once more in confusion. "What?"

"No newcomer has ever spoken aloud here before... He told me you were very different to the others, but he did not say you were capable of bringing your own voice back. How did you do that?" My Angel, is asking _me _questions? Something is not right here. "No, something most definitely is not right. How did you remember that you are American?"

This information baffles me. Has he not heard an American accent before today? "I have an American accent." He looks at me more questioningly.

"Yes I know all about Earth, but how do _you _recognise an accent?"

"Am I not supposed to know this?"

He looks worried now. "No, you are not. That is a memory and all memories disappear in heaven -even before you go through that door."

This brings my attention to the door once again, which I had almost completely forgotten about. The music has stopped. My Angel is looking at me full in the face, pure fear in his eyes. Did he not say that is supposed to disappear here? "Well obviously things that should not happen are happening a great deal today" He all but snaps at me. An irritable Angel? No, things are _definitely_ not right.

He thinks to me once again, perhaps in the hope of returning to the normal means of communication and revert back to the normal rules that the dead follow here. It is like I am leading some form of one-man rebellion. _You need to go through that door now._

He just said I could go through in my own time didn't he? Another thought hit me then, he cannot force me to go in either. The words in his head paired with the look on his face shows complete desperation and pleading. This Angel is really wanting me to shy away from the decision I am about to make. Correction- _made._

_Please! This has never happened before and I do not know what will happen to you! _My Angels face is physically hurting me now. I do not want to be the cause of _antibody's_ face creasing in agony in such a way, including my Angel's, but I do not want to go through that door any longer. _Please... _He begs one last time before I turn my entire body away from the door, walking in the opposite direction completely. I see all the Angels stop with their comforting and turn their eyes to me, utter shock on their faces. They cannot stop me -my Angel said so. Well I guess he _was _my Angel, but now he belongs to someone else.

I sprint for the emptiness ahead of me, hoping I am heading in the right direction, when I see the point where most of the new arrivals are fading into existence of this world, but fading out of the existence of my world. My world is Earth, and I do not ever want to leave it again. I would rather feel pain, doubt, fear and hunger than feel pure happiness. There is just no... _character_ to it. I never want to be numb like that.

I stop to catch my breath as I reach the invisible entrance, which is now my exit, when I realise that there is no need, as I am not breathing. I turn to take in everything around me. I have come further across the... space... that we are all in and I now see other new arrivals that I could not see before. Babies are being carried by Angels, completely at peace and happy. Children are accepting the hands of them, allowing them to lead them to their own door with barely a moments pause.

_Children are here. You cannot get children without parents... _I have a mother and a father. I will not leave them behind to mourn for me - a hazard of dying that my Angel neglected to mention. Do I have a sister? A brother?

_I have a family... _was my last thought as I took the final step into the bright white light and into the completely unknown.

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**Dun dun duuuun what happens beyond the unknown? Review and I might just give a little teaser!**

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	3. The Three

**Okay, so I know it's been a while. I've had murderous exams and got a horrid mark on one of them. OUCH. Now since I have a new computer in my room it should be easier to update. Don't hate me for the big wait because when I swapped computers all of my files were lost! That meant re-writing one 'The Heat' chapters, two from my other stories and THREE from THIS ONE!! AGH!! lol Well have fun. I tried my darndest to remember what I put.**

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****The Three**

**Sebastien P.O.V  
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My new job is to welcome the legendary of heroin's to heaven as Angels. I would wait here for them, walk through with them, and explain to them their new beginning. These are the people who had lived the most basic of lives, and the most selfless of deaths. These are the new Angels I am to welcome. I don't know what I had done to deserve such a honourable promotion, but who am I to question my boss?

Our Paradise is in some ways like an 'Office', as the humans of the future may define it as. There are three types of Angel, specialising in three different fields;

_The Watcher._ They look over the Human world, help to sway them from the path of Evil, though they have no absolute control. They cannot effect free will, but can encourage choice.

_The Planner._ I myself am a planner -or now I should really say _once was_- and we arranged worldwide events. We are like the battlers of evil if you will. When such Natural Disasters like Typhoons or Earthquakes occur, we help preserve life. We do our job in an almost technical fashion. We are informed by the watchers about bad things in the world, and we try to arrange every small detail to try and do what the watchers can't. We put things in sequence. This is the more heavy of jobs, but we do not tire of it. We may sometimes fail, as there are many in the world to plan a destiny for, but we try our hardest to get them to paradise if we do fail.

_The Welcomer._ They interact with those who need encouraging and support to take the final steps into paradise. Hold their hands, help the sick rise, carry the children, aid the victims of pain, abuse and illness. They interact with the new arrivals and know how to handle them.

So why am I the one sent to welcome an Angel today? Today I was ordered from the 'Head Office' to welcome a new Angel to our world. She had died a courageous death, saving her family and in turn her village from a painful burning death, due to the selfishness of others. Planners and Watchers were going frantic with this unavoidable event, trying to get a few survivors out, and arranging for less pain for those new arrivals. We had no idea this selfless girl would offer her life in place of the others. We can never predict or even have the smallest of hints as to when and if somebody would change endless planning. She had prevented a disaster, saving a total of 159 unavoidable deaths, by her unpredictable action. When this girl died the planners sped up the process, stopping her heart faster to prevent pain, though we could not control where the blade went through her. Her one life had saved many others, and as she entered the 'pathway', as us angels like to call it, her memories disappeared.

As she walked through the invisible portal between worlds I saw just how young and angelic she was. It was unbelievable that a girl this innocent and fair could be such a heroine, but she was. She deserved to become an Angel. The big guy called right on this one, just like he always does.

As she stared at the door I came over to her, trying to make her as comfortable as possible around me. After a few thoughts she recognised my accent and not soon after began to speak aloud. This was enough to scare me to death, if I were not already dead. She'd broken two rules, never before broken in the history of this place, in a matter of minutes. I saw her power and was frightened by whatever it was that she possessed to make her so different. I tried to show her the people accepting this place around her, but the effects of this place appealed to her differently than th others and my eyes shot open when she thought of going back to Earth. I begged her to stay but she just ran, sure with her decision. I was terrified of her. I was terrified_ for _her. She was gone in a flash.

I cannot believe I just watched an Angel fall. God sent me here himself so I can welcome her accordingly. Once she'd step through that door I was to announce her an Angel for her deeds as a human. It's not often we come across Angel material. Everything has gone so completely wrong.

After a moment of staring after her, the frantic thoughts of the watchers came to my attention.

_What..? _I hear Jesabelle think in confusion. I turn to see her eyes glued on me, and at that I feel everything threaten to fall to pieces. She looks back to where Beadu had disappeared, back to Earth. _Go, now! Tell the others, I'll take care of things here. _I nodded as I ran to the side door that only us Angels could see into another department. The second I got to the intercom I called for the three women who could help this girl.

**Jesabelle**

I was looking over to the new addition to our welcoming committee. _Why was he here? _I don't care what he'd thought to that girl, I had doubts about his ability to perform the job. She should have been through that door by now, not actually talking. I stilled as her words began. I hadn't heard words for so long. We all communicated via thought -even the intercom would think to us. Our ears had been out of use for... however long I have been here.

I cleared my throat slightly, wondering at the noise when my next arrival came. I'd try talking later, but at the moment I had a job to do. As the elderly woman came to me with a small smile, I smiled back, holding her arm lovingly and assisting her to her own private door before turning back to see the new boys expression. _He needs help? He's really bad at this. _I was approaching when I saw the face of the woman he was welcoming. It was _her_. The one that saved so many people from painful deaths before their time, and she didn't even know about it. My face fell into a smile of wonder at seeing her in the flesh.... _technically anyway_.

The smile was soon wiped from my face as her eyes met mine and I saw_ her _expression. If it wasn't in there before, the fear of God was certainly in there now. Her head whipped around as she ran from where she'd come. The one in charge of her looked like he was about to... well I'd never seen that expression before, but I knew it was bad. I just had a feeling that something terrible was happening.

I suddenly felt this small sucking, like the room was being vacuumed or something, and my eyes went directly to where the girls form was being sucked away. _What..? _I couldn't believe it. It wasn't plausible. It wasn't _possible_. Some instinct kicked in as I felt everything falling apart inside his mind.

_Go, now! Tell the others, I'll take care of things here. _He nodded and moved very fast for this place. I'd only ever been here since I became an Angel, and it startled everyone how fast he could move. _Could we do that too?_ I saw his movements and thought of what it would be like to move that fast. _How could I do it, even if I wanted to? _All too soon the intercom boomed with his voice again, and everyone was startled.

_"Can Jesabelle, Amy and Tiana report to 'home office'."_ I felt shock._ 'Home office'? 'Home office'? _The_ 'Home office'?_ I moved towards the base where no other from this room had ever been since my enrolment, finding my limbs willing to move faster. I stopped and just moved a little faster than normal, scared at what would happen if I just.... let it _happen. _When I got to the base, I was taken aback by the layout.

Gold and white adorned the walls, and a blond receptionist sat at a white desk, some sort of contraption resting next to her ear, disappearing behind her lox. She looked up and give me a small smile as I did back, when two other Angels entered, looking around as lost and flustered as I was. The new boy who'd lost the new charge walked towards us with tense movements, nodding at us and gesturing to an office next to him.

_"Ladies, this way please" _We followed him into his office and I took the time to notice his clothing. He was a snazzy dresser, in what I believe the humans would call a suit. It was white with a light blue tie, matching with his deep and sparkling eyes.

"Thank you for coming Ladies. Im afraid I have a request of you all." The other two were shocked at hearing his actual voice. It was like honey. I suddenly found myself wishing for a voice.

I thought so we all could hear. _You have a voice?_

"Yes, I have a voice! I cannot seem to stop it!" He ran is hands through his blond hair, moving around animated and unsure. "I mean, I started and now it is impossible to stop! I still think, but it does not want to stop there. This should not be happening." He shook his head, looking exceptionally down and distraught for an Angel. I wanted to reach over and gently release his hands from the grip he has on his head. I wanted to take him in my arms and make his worries go away.

_What was_ that?! The redhead thought to me. I just shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts from the odd turn they were taking.

"Attraction..." His voice was so smooth and alluring. I turned to him as he licked his lips, his breathing becoming heavy as his brow creased in confusion. _Oh, how I want to go to him!_

_Her eyes look so beautiful.... her hair so soft. I want to touch her, to feel her._ "Oh my Stars! I don't know what is going on! Why do I want to touch you?!"

_I don't know! I want to touch you too! _This was so confusing and felt entirely too private for the two other Angels to be involved in.

"W-we'll have to deal with this... later." He huffed, looking at me again and thinking about running his hands through my hair. He shook his head with a groan and the Redhead decided to wade in again.

_Do you mind telling us why we're here? I've got a job to do. _She sounded especially hostile and short tempered. I wanted to watch my thoughts with her. She looked over to me then, looking me up and down as if analysing me. I took that opportunity to actually look at the two angelic women beside me.

One was tall with Firey hair and a sour expression. The other was blonde and..._The secretary?_

"I have trusted Amy for countless years and now it is time I offer her a chance to get out of the office. I know you all doubt why you are here, but I have a proposal for you all." We all looked at each other and thought our responses in one go.

_Shoot. _Thought the bubbly blond, while the Redhead thought _Out with it then! _I went for the less brash and more lovingly approach. _I'm listening. _His eyes met mine and his thoughts started to wander again along with my own. _This was attraction?_

"It appears so..." He responded, his thoughts making themselves known by exiting his gorgeously plump lips. Our gaze locked until the receptionist interrupted us.

_So where am I going?! _I smiled at the excitement in her thoughts. She was practically jumping on the spot, a beacon of happiness.

A smile of amusement fell on his face and I genuinely enjoyed the sight. His smile is beautiful. His eyes shot to mine again and he spoke.

"Yours is better." He said and my smile grew bigger. I'd forgotten I was even smiling.

_Stop this! Get to the point Sebastien! _The Redhead scolded.

_Sebastien. His name is so perfect._

"A soul has left this place and returned to her body and I require all of your skills to help her get on her feet."

The Redhead became animated, scowling in though._ We know of this girl. No matter how hard we try we see no future for her. The department is in anarchy._

That is why I need you. Each of you. You will be sent down to Earth to watch over our lost Angel carefully. She has no path like Tiana has said, so she needs extra guidance. We don't want her falling into the wrong hands, but you can't be suspicious. Do you all accept."

Yes. We all thought.

"Very well. I hereby charge Tiana the Planner, Jesabelle the Welcomer and Amy as Beadu Swans personal watchers. You decide when you go to Earth, but brace yourselves when you do, as you will have to live by their customs and will be mortal."

We would be mortal. We would be.... living. _Can we ever come back?_

"Any time you wish. A door will be left open for you. Please, follow me." As we followed him out of his office the Angels we passed looked at us with great respect for taking on this role. It made me wonder if I'd truly thought about the commitment I'd just made. It was a recovery mission for one of our own, but in uncharted territory. I didn't know what we could do, but we'd have to try. We'd have to learn to be human again.

He led us to a fairly large white office with cream walls and three golden seats. There was a giants square on top of the white wooden desk, and when I looked closer it was void. It was a doorway. I didn't know much about this as Watching wasn't my job, but Tiana gave me the best instruction she could care to give.

_Just Watch_

I did as I was told and saw our charges body healing itself excruciatingly slowly. Tiana put her hand on the table and it became illuminated. Right below her hand the light formed a button with two arrows. She pressed it as Amy and I watched her work in wonder, so sure in what she was doing, when suddenly our charges body was healed but the scene around her had changed.

_Fast forward can be amazing at times. _She looked up at us with a small triumphant smile on her face, obviously proud and comfortable in her element._  
_

I thought about what that change in time means._ How much later is it there now?  
_

She fiddled about a little more and read the number to me. _Five hundred and eighty eight years.  
_

I felt like being physically sick. I scowled at her and tried to fiddle with the board to change what she'd done._ She's all alone now! Her family are long dead!_

_Hey! _She swatted my hands away and her eyes bulged at the board. _Look at what you've done! You've just woken her up! _I looked through the square and sure enough she was stirring, fully healed and no-longer in her comatose state. _Do you not see how bad that is?! She's trapped in her grave! The soil there will be so compact that she'll never get out! She'll die before she gets the chance to live again!_

_Is there anything we can do? _Amy asked, waving her hands about but not wanting to touch anything in case it made things worse.

_We have to give her the strength to get out and the power to heal herself so she doesn't bleed to death once she does. Trick is, once we give her those gifts, we can't take them back. We give, not take._

_Just do it. The poor girl must be terrified. _I put my arm around Amy's shoulder as she sobbed sympathetically while Tiana was frantic over the board. A moment later she announced she was done with a huff.

_Now we have to decide when to jump on in there.

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**There you go XD More soon XD REVIEW FOR ME PWEEZ!**

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	4. X, B and E

**Here 'tis. Have fun. I'm sorry but my exams are soo bloody close now I'm running out of free time to do this. I'm not giving up but this is the warning!**

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**X,B and E**

**Beadu P.O.V  
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I opened my eyes to my new world. My groggy, crusty eyes. I fill my lungs with air and wonder at the function cringing at the taste of just how dirty and sour the once nourishing air had become. Wherever I am, I cannot see anything, and it resembles the smell of a rotten larder. I feel a prickly stabbing in my legs. _Is this what it feels like to be... cold? _I am surprised that I recognise these feelings. _I have felt coldness before..._ I feel the basics of humanity coming back to me. I find myself feeling hunger and extreme discomfort. One thing that I slowly realise that is missing from all of this however, is the most important of all of these functions. My heart is not beating.

I try to squint through my eyes to see exactly where I am, hoping to find a source of light, but find none. I feel around me, becoming frantic in the darkness and find myself enclosed in a very tight, small and uncomfortable space. _Where on Earth am I?! _Now I am beginning to regret not heading my Angels warnings. '_Please! This has never happened before, and I do not know what will happen to you!' _In my haste to escape Heaven I did not think my actions through fully. _Why did I leave in the first place?! I denied Heaven!_

Then I remembered why I left. Witnessing such young children in that place led me to remember something about my previous life -that I had a family. _Have _a family_. _I am back now and intend to never leave again. All of those who have mourned for me will never feel sadness towards me again, I vow this.

I continue to feel around me as I think and brush my hand past something moving. I then begin to realise where I am, and I am quickly filled with immense fear -another overwhelming emotion. _Am I underground? _The lack of sound and the smell of my surroundings suggest that I am and when I breathe in once again -despite finding the action completely un-required- I smell damp wood, perhaps oak. _Am I in a Coffin?!! _That acknowledgement was too much for me, and I began to claw around for something to prove my assumptions wrong. I was right.

I scrape against the panels in front of me, desperate for an escape. My fingers quickly tear and bleed with my efforts, so to banish the pain I concentrate on the very reason why I am here and begin to chant _I have a family, I have a family, I have a family..._

I break through the wood to feel compacted earth begin to cave on me as I dig my way through this softer obstacle. _I have a family, I have a family. Oh my, how deep in the Earth am I? _I remember my legs and begin to kick upwards. It doesn't take long for my bare feet to shred and bleed also.

In what seems like a lifetime, I feel my fingers break through the surface, thanking God for my family not burying me deeper whilst also wishing for him to not hate me for choosing this current struggle over Heaven. My struggle soon ends however, as my arms frantically beat the newly revealed grass covered soil apart to make room to pull myself up. My head breaks through the surface as I crawl upwards, and I breathe in the un-polluted air, just to cough it back up. Despite the air being fresher than inside my coffin, it is not the air my body is -or once was- used to. _This is not air! It tastes too thick for air! What has happened to the air of this planet?_

As I drag my freezing legs out of the ground a chilling breeze stuns my entire body, giving me goosebumps. This was something I was not expecting. _Is it not summer?_ It most certainly is not summer, as rain starts to fall. I am currently in a collapsed heap above the place which was my grave and I look around for the first time. _How long have I been gone?_

I am surrounded by trees, thick with flora and fauna. The ground is damp and it becomes clear to me that I am in a forest. I look around myself, begging for my dead legs to drag. _Where is this place? Why would I be buried here? _This place is no cemetery, but must somehow still be holy ground otherwise I would not have been offered the entry I had just declined. I may have _developed_ that belief during some part of my previous life, but I do not know. My fingers find their way across a soft fabric on the freezing forest floor, which I recognise as some sort of dress. It is white, freshly blemished with the green of the grass and the thick crust of the dirt. How I came to find myself in such a dress was beyond me. _Perhaps it was not that long ago that I was buried?_

I look behind me to see a tree - a royal oak to be precise- and feel a deep connection to it. I stumble upwards to prop my hand on the tree as I crouch downwards, not trusting my legs enough to move efficiently on their own yet. _Do I know this? _There is a deep sign carved into the oaks front, not far from the ground. _A child must have done this. _I finger the carving, finding I can just about make out the lettering. There is an 'X' , and underneath this carving, there is a signature, 'B', 'E', and part of another letter. _An X,B and E ..._

This feels incredibly familiar, but I cannot focus hard enough to recover the memory. It may appear to be a marking to my grave, however, if it were so, I would not remember it, as I would have already died. _I must have carved this once, or at least witnessed the carving... but for what purpose is it here? To mark another grave? _

My mind twists at that, and I feel dread wash over me. _Another grave?! _Would that mean I did not die alone? The Angel had told me that I had committed the act of self sacrifice, however did somebody die before hand who would wish our bodies to be buried together? A death following mine? A _husband_? A _child?!_

As I tried to figure out any morsel of my past in front of that tree, the light began to fade. It was already becoming dark when I arose from the ground, however I recognise a word belonging to this sunset - Twilight. I stand to gaze at the setting sun, feeling a pull towards it. The light is leaving, and I wish to follow it, as I do not wish to be left behind in this darkness. I walk towards the sun a few steps, in fruitless hopes of catching it, and turn to look back at the oak. I had a feeling I would be able to find my way back.

I turned back towards the disapearing sun and pushed past the brush in my way, walking forward trusting the sun would lead me somewhere safe -away from the darkness.

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	5. The Waters

**Guess what lovers! It's EXAM MONTH! WHOOPEE FOR ME! not. I had my English Literature Exam today and have a Design and Technology one tomorrow, so where I should be revising right now, I thought I'd write this for you all to de-stress. Enjoy my lovers. **

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The Waters**

**Beadu P.O.V**

As I stumbled further into the forest I felt fatigued and exceptionally pained. My back was aching and I had been walking barefooted for several hours into the night. The sun had soon left me once I had begun following, my beacon of light leaving me in the darkness I wished to escape. I realised that I feared the darkness of night.

I looked around me as I continued onwards, shivers enveloping me and sobs wracking through me almost silently, but so amplified into the silence of the night. The silence frightened me. The fact that I added to the silence, rather than destroying it with sounds of movement feared me also. My steps were heavy, my breathing ragged and teeth chattering, but I knew I should have been making much more noise than I had been. No leaves rustled as I walked. No mud squelched or moulded around my feet, though it was obvious that the ground was wet from a previous shower from the sky's. My heartbeat was absent, the thunders rumbling above where it should be in my chest. Everything felt out of place._ I _felt out of place. The silence was too potent and too eerie.

The tree's were thick around me, cloaking me in shadows which I also learned that I feared. I felt so trapped in my body, trapped in the dark, shadowed space, hidden from life or anything visibly good. How far would it be until I found a village? Surely I would not have been buried too far from an inhabited area. I wished to find a place of Hospice so desperately that I hallucinated sounds of a river close by. I closed my eyes and cursed my mind for making this journey home harder than it had to be. There was just no way that there was a river nearby. I would have seen it.

The flow of the river trickled into my ears as if I were mere feet from its bank. I smelled fresh running water, but it held no real appeal to me. Despite my senses not seeming to crave the potential proximity of water, I wanted to find it. I wanted my mind to be right about it being there. I kept on with my movements hopelessly, knowing that I was wrong and that the exhaustion was getting to me.

Suddenly a loud, sloshing motion rang in my ears. I gasped, and the tastes of the forest around me alerted me to some kind of woodland animal taking a drink. I smelled its strong musk, filling my mouth and making my throat ache to the point physical pain.

I coughed painfully as my roar throat burned from the need of quenching my thirst. I fell to my knees from exhaustion next to a riverbank moments later and sure enough, I was far downwind from a deer. Far too downwind to possibly smell it, but it was like I was right next to it, taking inventory of its scent. The pain in my throat burned stronger with each second as my stare bored into the creature, its loud noises of life filling my ears. A sound came to my notice. An intoxicating sound, so potent in the silence that it filled my head, until nothing else was there. The thundering above was now the thundering below. This creature had a heartbeat. All that I could hear was the steady pounding of the deers heart. The sound of the blood making its way through its body sounded a thousand time louder than the river right beside me.

_Bombom..._

_Bombom..._

A low growl crept its way into the far from silent space, sliming over the river and to both mine and the deers ears. A part of me wondered where the growling was coming from, but the rest of me was too entranced taking in the living being before my eyes to actually become alarmed. Just as the sound reached the deer its head snapped in my direction, its eyes alight and body tensing, ears shooting up to detect more sound. As it stared into my eyes I stared right back and I saw the fear enter the deer as a louder growl choked its way into the space between us. My chest heaved and I quickly realised that the growling I was aware of was coming from me. The second I unlocked my jaw incredulously from my impulsive actions, the deer sprinted into the distance like it was running for its life. It was scared of me. It was scared of me because I was growling. It was scared because I'm foreign.

I shook my head and brought my gaze back to the river ahead of me. How could I have been staring at a deer when my throat was scorching me to death from need of water? What I needed was right in front of me, but everything in me pulled towards the deer across the river to pay the river itself, my goal, any real attention. I took a deep breath and groaned at the pain in my throat, staring at the flowing river ahead of me.

I indulged in the lakes shimmers, iluminated by the moon which had just come into view, previously hidden behind the canopies of trees and heavy burden of clouds. Perhaps the clouds were thick as such in their anger, thundering and pulsing in unison in hate. Perhaps God was angry at me for my choice.

I lowered my gaze from the frightening sky's and crawled a small distance to cup some of the shimmering water into my torn and trembling hands, the temperature causing a small sting as I brought it to my mouth. It tasted foul on my tongue, spoiled and wrong, like I shouldn't be drinking it. I swallowed it nonetheless. What else should I be drinking if not the water? My stomach groaned in hunger and I drank more of the foul liquid. Shouldn't this taste good? At least right? I felt it in my system, but it didn't feel nourishing. It felt like a slow poison. I soon found myself holding my stomach as the poison expelled itself from my body, the purged and unchanged water slipping back into the lake.

The pain of my own purging made my body tremble constantly, unable to take the weight of my own body on my arms and knees. As I looked out at the water that should have saved me, everything turned darker, and the black sheath of my mind took me.

When I woke darkness was still thick in the sky, though mere signs of a sunrise gave me a small pang of hope for the familiarity of light to come back to me. I lifted myself off of the ground, when I became acutely aware of an audience. I felt somebodies eyes on me and I searched those eyes out, but saw none. I was adamant that someone was there, so I called out.

"H-hello?" The sounds of the waters were the same, but everything still felt amplified and different. Whoever was looking at me, their eyes were sizing me up. Could this be a possible attacker? My breathing sped trying to find my stalker.

"I know you are there! I can feel your gaze." I was terrified yet again. Something which had occurred frequently since my rebirth. I heard an exhale from the other side of the river and my eyes zeroed in on the trees there. Somebody was there. I knew it.

Slowly, the wind shifted and I caught the most lusciously sweet scent, making the deer I had smelled before spoiled in comparison. I took deep, shuddering breaths and tried to match it to any possible inventory my mind could have had in my previous life, but though names appeared behind my eyelids, none of them fit the description of the smell.

I let out a shuddered breath as the wind shifted again, taking the scent of my watcher from me and giving him my own. My eyes closed as i hung onto that last breath of the perfected odour, when my ears became alert to the water being disturbed, moving around a new obstacle. My eyes snapped open and there, standing in the lake across from me, was the most handsome man I had ever seen.

His face were as if it was carved by the angels I had denied. He was taller than me, dressed in strange and unfamiliar attire. Whatever kind of new fashion he presented before me, I adored it yet feared it. It was considerably less than what any other man would wear, I was sure. He was foreign, but far too familiar. His hair was bronze and face pale in the ending night. The most captivating thing about the man, however, was his ocher eyes, florescent and vibrant like a sunrise. They welcomed me as they looked into my own eyes, and my fear disappeared. There was a small rumbling noise and I coughed to test if it was me again. It indeed was. I hoped he hadn't heard it.

He moved his mouth as if to speak, his brow furrowed and expression deeply pained. I could tell this man was experienced in this world and knew his way. I could tell he'd had a terrible past. I could tell, deep down, this man was broked, though still put together. He continued to look at me, chest unmoving and obviously holding his breath. I wondered why he would pay a small thing like me beside a river so much attention. Was I insulting him the the exposure of my neck and ankles? I hadn't chosen this ensemble myself and I felt out of sorts in it already. It was too thin and weightless on my body.

I fidgeted with my middle, my fingers wishing a corset to appear to give me comfort. I was far too exposed for society. His eyes looked down and spotted my movement, obviously now taking account of my own attire. His eyes raked to my neck momentarily and his gaze was so heavy I felt as if I would faint. I drew one of my hands to cover my chest and the other to cover my stomach as discreetly as I could, but letting the man know that I was ashamed and uncomfortable with his eyes on me in such intimate places that you should only show a lover or a husband.

Why hadn't he said or done something yet? Was he expecting me to tlak first? Was this man expecting a Woman to speak before him?

"Do you l-live nearby?" I asked, giving him a hopeful look.

As I observed him, gauging his reaction to a woman speaking first, his Jaw set. He looked dangerously angry, like he was hiding a beast within him. He was offering nothing in return but his eyes and stoic body, leaning towards me almost imperceptibly. I dared to speak again, begging for progress, but also wanting to look at him for many more immeasurable moments. He was a generous and cherishable sight for sore eyes.

"Could you help me?" I asked questioningly, a littel louder than the last. Though leaning towards me, his body looked prepared to take off, like he would run at any second, but looking too absorbed in confusion to make his move. He shook his head and replied in an immensly smoothe voice, as if snapping out of some trance. This was his first time to blink, his chest finally moving and taking in the air around him.

"What are you doing all the way out here?" His hand moved minutely in gesture and I noticed his angelic, long and slender fingers. He was not a fighting man, which somewhat assured me, and he was obviously a patron of the arts. He could do no hard labour with hands like that. I wish my hands were that of an artist, but they are useless in all fields of work. I looked down at my hand on my stomach and just... _knew_.

My eyes met his again when I realised I had not responded. I was being rude leaving it so long. I speak before him, twice, and then don't answer his questions? He must be deeply angered. The last thing I needed was an angered stranger.

"I..." _just denied heaven. _I didn't know what I could say without making myself sound insane, so I moved onto an important point, daring to slip away from his question."Please, I'm wounded. I'm so, _so hungry... _and I need to find my family." I begged, walking into the water a few steps, the temperature alarmingly warm though no sun had yet to heat it from the cold night. He stared at my movements calculatingly with wide eyes, as if terrified himself, before composing himself and walking towards me through the river, incredibly slowly with measured but fluid steps, the water rising frighteningly high. I became alarmed for him as the water reached far above his knees.

"No, stop! The water is too high! You will drown..." My scentence trailed off as he stared at me with no fear in his eyes. He looked fascinated yet guarded, in a different trance than before. I was not custom to being looked at so much.

He continued to look at me as I did him when my eyes were drawn to my hands again. They were trembling, but I wasn't particularly cold. I mean, I was partially chilled, but nothing to cause shivers. He walked forward another step and I held up my hand, palm facing him, a gesture for him to stop. For one, I did not want him to drown, but I also did not want to face a reality that this man might want to harm me, barren of noble intentions.

"It's okay." My brow furrowed lightly at the unfamiliar words. I opened my mouth to ask him what 'its' and 'okay' meant, but a tingling feeling descended through my arms, making me shiver violently. He noticed this and came closer, worry playing on his features.

I closed my hand held out to keep him away, flexing it to try and expel the tingling, but it only made my wounds sting. I hissed, and the mans gaze zeroed in on my hand, looking at the deep cuts and deep reds of my blood as if nothing else was there. This time when he moved, his entire body moved, not stopping and facing me, all ideas of running gone. I watched his eyes as he walked further into the water towards me, and I noted how darker they became with every step.

My entire body shivered as he approached and I drew my outstretched hand towards me to observe what was wrong with it as it ached. Then, I watched in fear more than fascination as a tingling feeling seeped through them, making me feel very light headed. My blurring eyes became wide at the sight before me. The deep cuts in my hands were closing, the bleeding finally stopping. The overwhelming weight inside my head caused my vision to blur and my body to shake more than it was before. I took in deep and frequent breaths to calm myself down and get some ground in the world, but my mind was floating.

"I think I have... the vapours..." Suddenly as I lulled into the darkness I felt piercing cold surround my body. I hoped the man had enough chivalry to take me to the bank and not let me drown.

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My Mum and I like to say 'Oh! I think I've got the VAPOURS!" Whenever something shocking or flattering happens. Thought I'd drop it in.

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	6. Authors Note

Hello everyone. Let me just get this out now.

DO NOT READ ANY OF MY STORIES.

Lately I have been into reading more than writing, so I haven't updated anything. I haven't wanted to. I still don't feel that overwhelming urge, but right now I know that at some point in the future I will be pulling everything, one by one, and rehashing them. I'm doing this because it's been two years in most cases. TWO. YEARS. That is a lot of time to refine my writing style; to change and update my structure and vocabulary. I'm in my second year of English Literature and Language at college, so obviously some techniques have become second nature to me.

So I beg of you, please remain patient. My creative mind is already back in drive. I've recently thought about two new stories, but I have learned from the past and will not submit them until I've sorted out what I already have.

I plan on adding this as a new chapter to every one of my stories so those on story alert know, so if you have multiple emails you only need to read the one.

Again, I'm sorry, but be patient. I promise it will be worth it. I'll probably start the process in two weeks once my Photography and Art Deadlines are out of the way.


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